i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
