Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
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