Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Randomize
