She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
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