I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize