Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
