I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
