we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
