Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
