You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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