haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Randomize
