I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Someone shattered a urinal.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
