dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Randomize
