i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
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