So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
