Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Randomize