i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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