when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
