watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I think a kid would responsible me up
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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