That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
