Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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