I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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