the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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