Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
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