So drunk, too bad you don't want this
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
