Dual....:-)
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Fuck me I smell like cheese
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