It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I can't put those talents on a resume
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Randomize
