Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Also, beer. Big fan.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
