whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
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