I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
