Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Randomize
