Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize