My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
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You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
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I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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