I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
Randomize
