I should be sponsored by Trojan
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize
