Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Randomize
