bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Randomize
