get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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