The maid of honor just puked.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
