I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
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