Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
