I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
