I will die if light touches me.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
