i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
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