Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
We need to rekindle our bromance
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
