Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
When are your genitals available?
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
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