well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
