names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
