I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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