All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
