we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
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