i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
