i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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