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The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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