If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
